Coming untied????

So, things are so super good with "us" right now. We are getting along great, laughing, saving money, making good friends, enjoying spring, liking our jobs, helping others, going out, having good sex.....I could go on and on. Really.

Yet, all of that being said, I have this sense of urgency. A sense of impending doom and because of that I want to write it all down, tell everyone, get a tattoo, ANYTHING to remind myself of this time. I am sure down the road there will come a time when it gets bumpy, sex get stale, or our situation finds itself in an over all lack luster state. This time, if it were recorded, would serve as a reminder of the ebb and flow. It could be the shot in the arm our station may need. Our adrenaline.

Right? I mean isn't it smart to back up your computer and make an extra copy of a manuscript? Isn’t it prudent to safeguard against marriage melt down? 

Or and here's the real kicker, am I creating my own sad destiny by negatively projecting into the future? I'm I loosing precious moments stalk piling for the Y2K of my marriage? Basically, am I untying the shoelace so it can drop off?

Uhhhhhhh...ugh.

I guess I’m gonna hedge my bets, write down some examples, brag to my friends, smell the roses of or relationship, tell myself lies that things will never change and hope I tied my shoes on tight. 

Doing myself no favors

So I have noticed that sometimes I do myself no favors. Its simple things really, like going to the movies or hypothesizing about other people's lives. 

For instance, when I go and see a romantic comedy. I have an amazing capacity for suspended disbelief, so I am totally believing what ever I am find myself watching. Therefore, when I leave the movies I begin to compare "their" romance to my own. I begin to think damaging things like, "I am not as nice or spontaneous as "she" is. My husband is not as thoughtful or passionate as "him". We are no where near as close and connect as "they" are. I begin to long for and wish for that sort of relationship and degrade the one I'm in.

OR and this is my favorite one, I see someone and based on the snap shot I get of them I roll out this elaborate, hand made tapestry of their life. For instance, this bar owner I met this Sunday. He was smily = happy, well dressed = rich, seem to know everyone= popular and was oh so helpful= kind-hearted. I spun this amazing story about him, only to have it dismantled during the after party. As it turned out he was a a narcissistic, freak who was just breaking up with his "model" girlfriend. Not to mention he was was totally inappropriate, even after he knew I was married he tried to attack my happiness/marriage.

These points are to illustrate the ever so common plague called, "Comparing Mind". This  terribly destructive phenomena is totally avoidable and NOT REAL (as illistrated)! Don't be like me! Don't fall pray to this evil mind trick. Don't be like me. Do yourself a favor and don't engage in COMPARING MIND.

getting to know me

I should start by saying I don't believe anything is personal and the human experience is universal. I believe sharing and listening allows us to realize the ease around life. If we all would loosen our grips on "how we look" or "what others would think" I think we would all feel so much better. 

That being said, upon gentle nudging this blog is born. My desire is to reveal the under explored world of......Marriage!

I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, quite the opposite (more about that later). I am simply someone who has gone through the process and emerged into this land called Married. Previous to this initiation, I was curious about this institution and its members. Because of my job (massage therapist) I am often a part of proposals, weddings and anniversaries. I am, by nature, a inquisitive person. Therefore, I often ask, "How did you know she/he was the one?" "What's the secrete of a good marriage?" "Any words of advice?".

So, now I'm here to report back from the ALTARED side.